<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8" ?>
<rss version="2.0" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" xmlns:wikidot="http://www.wikidot.com/rss-namespace">

	<channel>
		<title>Humor thread</title>
		<link>http://rbwhitaker.wikidot.com/forum/t-1005190/humor-thread</link>
		<description>Posts in the discussion thread &quot;Humor thread&quot; - A place for your programming jokes!</description>
				<copyright></copyright>
		<lastBuildDate>Fri, 07 Aug 2026 19:25:06 +0000</lastBuildDate>
		
					<item>
				<guid>http://rbwhitaker.wikidot.com/forum/t-1005190#post-2244160</guid>
				<title>Re: Humor thread</title>
				<link>http://rbwhitaker.wikidot.com/forum/t-1005190/humor-thread#post-2244160</link>
				<description></description>
				<pubDate>Wed, 04 Mar 2015 04:33:26 +0000</pubDate>
				<wikidot:authorName>rbwhitaker</wikidot:authorName>				<wikidot:authorUserId>88099</wikidot:authorUserId>				<content:encoded>
					<![CDATA[
						 <p>My personal favorite was, &quot;I thought I had a problem, and I thought to use Java. Now I have a ProblemFactory.&quot; It probably struck me as especially humorous because I had literally just gotten done writing a factory class before reading it.</p> 
				 	]]>
				</content:encoded>							</item>
					<item>
				<guid>http://rbwhitaker.wikidot.com/forum/t-1005190#post-2244157</guid>
				<title>Re: Humor thread</title>
				<link>http://rbwhitaker.wikidot.com/forum/t-1005190/humor-thread#post-2244157</link>
				<description></description>
				<pubDate>Wed, 04 Mar 2015 04:30:39 +0000</pubDate>
				<wikidot:authorName>rbwhitaker</wikidot:authorName>				<wikidot:authorUserId>88099</wikidot:authorUserId>				<content:encoded>
					<![CDATA[
						 <p>I've got no particular complaints about Java, and admittedly, most of the things in this list are also pretty applicable to C# as well, but I lol'd at this:</p> <p><a href="http://harmful.cat-v.org/software/java">http://harmful.cat-v.org/software/java</a></p> 
				 	]]>
				</content:encoded>							</item>
					<item>
				<guid>http://rbwhitaker.wikidot.com/forum/t-1005190#post-2244154</guid>
				<title>Re: Humor thread</title>
				<link>http://rbwhitaker.wikidot.com/forum/t-1005190/humor-thread#post-2244154</link>
				<description></description>
				<pubDate>Wed, 04 Mar 2015 04:27:14 +0000</pubDate>
				<wikidot:authorName>rbwhitaker</wikidot:authorName>				<wikidot:authorUserId>88099</wikidot:authorUserId>				<content:encoded>
					<![CDATA[
						 <p>Java combines the elegant simplicity of C with the blazing speed of Smalltalk.</p> 
				 	]]>
				</content:encoded>							</item>
					<item>
				<guid>http://rbwhitaker.wikidot.com/forum/t-1005190#post-2225909</guid>
				<title>Re: Humor thread</title>
				<link>http://rbwhitaker.wikidot.com/forum/t-1005190/humor-thread#post-2225909</link>
				<description></description>
				<pubDate>Fri, 06 Feb 2015 05:18:21 +0000</pubDate>
				<wikidot:authorName>rbwhitaker</wikidot:authorName>				<wikidot:authorUserId>88099</wikidot:authorUserId>				<content:encoded>
					<![CDATA[
						 <p>While we're telling jokes:</p> <p>Google+</p> 
				 	]]>
				</content:encoded>							</item>
					<item>
				<guid>http://rbwhitaker.wikidot.com/forum/t-1005190#post-2224033</guid>
				<title>Re: Humor thread</title>
				<link>http://rbwhitaker.wikidot.com/forum/t-1005190/humor-thread#post-2224033</link>
				<description></description>
				<pubDate>Tue, 03 Feb 2015 18:49:41 +0000</pubDate>
				<wikidot:authorName>Emblis</wikidot:authorName>				<wikidot:authorUserId>1671135</wikidot:authorUserId>				<content:encoded>
					<![CDATA[
						 <p>A biologist, a statistician, a mathematician and a computer scientist are on a photo-safari in Africa. They drive out into the savannah in their jeep, stop and scour the horizon with their binoculars.</p> <p>The biologist: &quot;Look! There's a herd of zebras! And there, in the middle: a white zebra! It's fantastic! There are white zebras! We'll be famous!&quot;</p> <p>The statistician: &quot;It's not significant. We only know there's one white zebra.&quot;</p> <p>The mathematician: &quot;Actually, we know there exists a zebra which is white on one side.&quot;</p> <p>The computer scientist: &quot;Oh no! A special case!&quot;</p> 
				 	]]>
				</content:encoded>							</item>
					<item>
				<guid>http://rbwhitaker.wikidot.com/forum/t-1005190#post-2207577</guid>
				<title>Re: Humor thread</title>
				<link>http://rbwhitaker.wikidot.com/forum/t-1005190/humor-thread#post-2207577</link>
				<description></description>
				<pubDate>Thu, 15 Jan 2015 12:16:59 +0000</pubDate>
				<wikidot:authorName>AkanTenshu</wikidot:authorName>				<wikidot:authorUserId>2029356</wikidot:authorUserId>				<content:encoded>
					<![CDATA[
						 <p>Three men are talking: A programmer, a doctor, and a lawyer. The lawyer says, &quot;Man, the only way is to have a mistress. With all these divorce suits, it's terrible. The only way is to have a mistress.&quot; The doctor says, &quot;Are you kidding? With all the STDs out there, you want a wife and that's it.&quot; The programmer says, &quot;You need both a wife and a mistress. Because when you're not with the mistress, she'll assume you're with your wife, and when you're not with your wife, she'll assume you're with your mistress, and THAT leaves you more time to be in the lab programming!&quot;</p> 
				 	]]>
				</content:encoded>							</item>
					<item>
				<guid>http://rbwhitaker.wikidot.com/forum/t-1005190#post-2207573</guid>
				<title>Re: Humor thread</title>
				<link>http://rbwhitaker.wikidot.com/forum/t-1005190/humor-thread#post-2207573</link>
				<description></description>
				<pubDate>Thu, 15 Jan 2015 12:10:52 +0000</pubDate>
				<wikidot:authorName>AkanTenshu</wikidot:authorName>				<wikidot:authorUserId>2029356</wikidot:authorUserId>				<content:encoded>
					<![CDATA[
						 <p>Once upon a time there was a shepherd looking after his sheep on the side of a deserted road. Suddenly a brand new Porsche screeches to a halt. The driver, a man dressed in an Armani suit, Cerutti shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses, TAG-Heuer wrist-watch, and a Versace tie, gets out and asks the Shepherd:</p> <p>Man: “If I can tell you how many sheep you have, will you give me one of them?”</p> <p>The shepherd looks at the young man, and then looks at the large flock of grazing sheep and replies:</p> <p>Shepherd: “Okay.”</p> <p>The young man parks the car, connects his laptop to the mobile-fax, enters a NASA Webster, scans the ground using his GPS, opens a database and 60 Excel tables filled with logarithms and pivot tables, then prints out a 150 page report on his high-tech mini-printer. He turns to the shepherd and says,</p> <p>Man: “You have exactly 1,586 sheep here.”</p> <p>The shepherd cheers,</p> <p>Shepherd: “That’s correct, you can have your sheep.”</p> <p>The young man makes his pick and puts it in the back of his Porsche. The shepherd looks at him and asks,</p> <p>Shepherd: “If I guess your profession, will you return my animal to me?”</p> <p>The young man answers;</p> <p>Man: “Yes, why not?”</p> <p>Shepherd: &quot;You are an IT consultant.&quot;</p> <p>Man: “How did you know?”</p> <p>Shepherd: “Very simple. First, you came here without being called. Second, you charged me a fee to tell me something I already knew, and third, you don’t understand anything about my business…Now can I have my DOG back?&quot;</p> 
				 	]]>
				</content:encoded>							</item>
					<item>
				<guid>http://rbwhitaker.wikidot.com/forum/t-1005190#post-2120592</guid>
				<title>Re: Humor thread</title>
				<link>http://rbwhitaker.wikidot.com/forum/t-1005190/humor-thread#post-2120592</link>
				<description></description>
				<pubDate>Sun, 28 Sep 2014 20:24:43 +0000</pubDate>
				<wikidot:authorName>Krizzu</wikidot:authorName>				<wikidot:authorUserId>1983660</wikidot:authorUserId>				<content:encoded>
					<![CDATA[
						 <p>Why does java devs wear glasses?<br /> Because they can't C#</p> 
				 	]]>
				</content:encoded>							</item>
					<item>
				<guid>http://rbwhitaker.wikidot.com/forum/t-1005190#post-2103340</guid>
				<title>Re: Humor thread</title>
				<link>http://rbwhitaker.wikidot.com/forum/t-1005190/humor-thread#post-2103340</link>
				<description></description>
				<pubDate>Fri, 05 Sep 2014 18:53:14 +0000</pubDate>
				<wikidot:authorName>Emblis</wikidot:authorName>				<wikidot:authorUserId>1671135</wikidot:authorUserId>				<content:encoded>
					<![CDATA[
						 <p>It should be noted that no ethically-trained software engineer would ever consent to write a DestroyBaghdad procedure. Basic professional ethics would instead require him to write a DestroyCity procedure, to which Baghdad could be given as a parameter.</p> 
				 	]]>
				</content:encoded>							</item>
					<item>
				<guid>http://rbwhitaker.wikidot.com/forum/t-1005190#post-2101666</guid>
				<title>Re: Humor thread</title>
				<link>http://rbwhitaker.wikidot.com/forum/t-1005190/humor-thread#post-2101666</link>
				<description></description>
				<pubDate>Tue, 02 Sep 2014 23:29:13 +0000</pubDate>
				<wikidot:authorName>Marcus42</wikidot:authorName>				<wikidot:authorUserId>1823111</wikidot:authorUserId>				<content:encoded>
					<![CDATA[
						 <p>Q: How many Prolog programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?</p> <p>A: Yes.</p> 
				 	]]>
				</content:encoded>							</item>
					<item>
				<guid>http://rbwhitaker.wikidot.com/forum/t-1005190#post-2100964</guid>
				<title>Re: Humor thread</title>
				<link>http://rbwhitaker.wikidot.com/forum/t-1005190/humor-thread#post-2100964</link>
				<description></description>
				<pubDate>Mon, 01 Sep 2014 19:43:36 +0000</pubDate>
				<wikidot:authorName>Emblis</wikidot:authorName>				<wikidot:authorUserId>1671135</wikidot:authorUserId>				<content:encoded>
					<![CDATA[
						 <p>*knock knock*<br /> Race Condition.<br /> Who is there?</p> 
				 	]]>
				</content:encoded>							</item>
					<item>
				<guid>http://rbwhitaker.wikidot.com/forum/t-1005190#post-2098324</guid>
				<title>Re: Humor thread</title>
				<link>http://rbwhitaker.wikidot.com/forum/t-1005190/humor-thread#post-2098324</link>
				<description></description>
				<pubDate>Thu, 28 Aug 2014 12:54:52 +0000</pubDate>
				<wikidot:authorName>PiscesMike</wikidot:authorName>				<wikidot:authorUserId>1721619</wikidot:authorUserId>				<content:encoded>
					<![CDATA[
						 <p>Three programmers go into a bar and sit down at a table. The first programmer holds up two fingers and says &quot;Three beers&quot;</p> 
				 	]]>
				</content:encoded>							</item>
					<item>
				<guid>http://rbwhitaker.wikidot.com/forum/t-1005190#post-2098318</guid>
				<title>Re: Humor thread</title>
				<link>http://rbwhitaker.wikidot.com/forum/t-1005190/humor-thread#post-2098318</link>
				<description></description>
				<pubDate>Thu, 28 Aug 2014 12:50:18 +0000</pubDate>
				<wikidot:authorName>PiscesMike</wikidot:authorName>				<wikidot:authorUserId>1721619</wikidot:authorUserId>				<content:encoded>
					<![CDATA[
						 <p>Windows is&#8230;</p> <p>a 64 bit rewrite of</p> <p>a 32 bit extension to</p> <p>a 16 bit api to</p> <p>an 8 bit kernel for</p> <p>a 4 bit microprocessor by</p> <p>a 2 bit company that can't stand</p> <p>1 bit of competition.</p> 
				 	]]>
				</content:encoded>							</item>
					<item>
				<guid>http://rbwhitaker.wikidot.com/forum/t-1005190#post-2098316</guid>
				<title>Re: Humor thread</title>
				<link>http://rbwhitaker.wikidot.com/forum/t-1005190/humor-thread#post-2098316</link>
				<description></description>
				<pubDate>Thu, 28 Aug 2014 12:43:58 +0000</pubDate>
				<wikidot:authorName>PiscesMike</wikidot:authorName>				<wikidot:authorUserId>1721619</wikidot:authorUserId>				<content:encoded>
					<![CDATA[
						 <p>It's been said that if you play a windows CD backwards, you'll hear satanic chanting&#8230;worse still if you play it forwards, it installs windows.</p> 
				 	]]>
				</content:encoded>							</item>
					<item>
				<guid>http://rbwhitaker.wikidot.com/forum/t-1005190#post-2098294</guid>
				<title>Re: Humor thread</title>
				<link>http://rbwhitaker.wikidot.com/forum/t-1005190/humor-thread#post-2098294</link>
				<description></description>
				<pubDate>Thu, 28 Aug 2014 12:12:39 +0000</pubDate>
				<wikidot:authorName>PiscesMike</wikidot:authorName>				<wikidot:authorUserId>1721619</wikidot:authorUserId>				<content:encoded>
					<![CDATA[
						 <p>I think this one sums up my programming style:</p> <p>Top 10 things likely to be overheard from a Klingon Programmer</p> <ul> <li>Specifications are for the weak and timid!</li> <li>You question the worthiness of my code? I should kill you where you stand!</li> <li>Indentation? I will show you how to indent when I indent your skull!</li> <li>What is this talk of release? Klingons do not release software. Our software escapes leaving a bloody trail of designers and quality assurance people in its wake.</li> <li>Klingon function calls do not have parameters - they have arguments - and they ALWAYS WIN THEM.</li> <li>Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle the weak.</li> <li>A True Klingon Warrior does not comment on his code!</li> <li>Klingon software does not have BUGS. It has FEATURES, and those features are too sophisticated for a Romulan pig like you to understand.</li> <li>You cannot truly appreciate Dilbert unless you've read it in the original Klingon.</li> <li>Our users will know fear and cower before our software! Ship it! Ship it and let them flee like the dogs they are!</li> </ul> 
				 	]]>
				</content:encoded>							</item>
					<item>
				<guid>http://rbwhitaker.wikidot.com/forum/t-1005190#post-2098291</guid>
				<title>Re: Humor thread</title>
				<link>http://rbwhitaker.wikidot.com/forum/t-1005190/humor-thread#post-2098291</link>
				<description></description>
				<pubDate>Thu, 28 Aug 2014 12:09:05 +0000</pubDate>
				<wikidot:authorName>PiscesMike</wikidot:authorName>				<wikidot:authorUserId>1721619</wikidot:authorUserId>				<content:encoded>
					<![CDATA[
						 <p>Q: how many Microsoft programmers does it take to change a light bulb?</p> <p>A: none, they just make darkness a standard and tell everyone &quot;this behavior is by design&quot;</p> 
				 	]]>
				</content:encoded>							</item>
					<item>
				<guid>http://rbwhitaker.wikidot.com/forum/t-1005190#post-2098288</guid>
				<title>Re: Humor thread</title>
				<link>http://rbwhitaker.wikidot.com/forum/t-1005190/humor-thread#post-2098288</link>
				<description></description>
				<pubDate>Thu, 28 Aug 2014 12:03:33 +0000</pubDate>
				<wikidot:authorName>PiscesMike</wikidot:authorName>				<wikidot:authorUserId>1721619</wikidot:authorUserId>				<content:encoded>
					<![CDATA[
						 <p>A programmer started to cuss<br /> Because getting to sleep was a fuss<br /> As she lay there in bed<br /> Looping 'round in her head<br /> was:<br /> while(!asleep()) sheep++</p> <p><strong>in the comments, in this case, the funny part</strong><br /> I think it's better with: while(!asleep()) ++sheep</p> <p>Courtesy of <a href="http://xkcd.com/571">http://xkcd.com/571</a></p> 
				 	]]>
				</content:encoded>							</item>
					<item>
				<guid>http://rbwhitaker.wikidot.com/forum/t-1005190#post-2098285</guid>
				<title>Humor thread</title>
				<link>http://rbwhitaker.wikidot.com/forum/t-1005190/humor-thread#post-2098285</link>
				<description></description>
				<pubDate>Thu, 28 Aug 2014 11:58:56 +0000</pubDate>
				<wikidot:authorName>PiscesMike</wikidot:authorName>				<wikidot:authorUserId>1721619</wikidot:authorUserId>				<content:encoded>
					<![CDATA[
						 <p>The C language combines all the power of assembly language with all the ease-of-use of assembly language.</p> 
				 	]]>
				</content:encoded>							</item>
				</channel>
</rss>